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Last Meeting of the Quakertown Optimists Club

from Lazy Afternoon by Jason Wilber

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about

“The Last Meeting of the Quakertown Optimist Club” was inspired by a little article I saw in the paper about how this local Optimist Club was giving up. That struck me as pretty humorous. So I started imagining what their last meeting would be like. I sort of had Mark Twain’s story “Cannibalism in the Cars” in my head too and I wanted to write the song in a similar style.

lyrics

There’s just no point in going on, said the President to his peers
We’ve tried real hard to make the club work, for almost 24 years
But recently the spelling bee and the bake sale both bombed
Interest has declined, it’s a sign of the times, I’m thinking we should just move on

Because we’ve organized and volunteered and sponsored ‘til we’re blue
We’ve pledged and baked, marched and donated, raised and patronized too
But I’m calling it quits, I’m tired of it, this perpetual goodwill race
Man I’ve looked on the bright side for so damn long, I’ve got a sunburn on my face

Chorus:
Somewhere along the way we lost our happy go lucky smiles
That certain savoir faire that kept our chins up proud and high
My horse shoe and my rabbit’s foot have worn down to the nub
I’m sorry friends, this will be the last meeting, of the Quakertown Optimist Club

Then the Secretary said attendance has fallen, at the Wednesday bowling league
Last week it was just my wife and her sister, my brother-in-law and me
Mrs. Douglas stood and said well I’m sorry, but those bowling shoes hurt my feet
Then she excused herself owing to a previous engagement with a program on her TV

It was Mr. Baker moved to adjourn the meeting, said his wife was home sick in bed
And he reported he hadn’t been ill in years, but suddenly felt a little light headed
And then similar complaints slowly arose from every optimist in that room
Of backaches, and bunions, and inconsiderate off-spring
And inevitable, impending, doom

CHORUS ---- TAG --- The number you have reached is no longer in service, at the Quakertown Optimists Club

credits

from Lazy Afternoon, released January 1, 2006

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about

Jason Wilber Bloomington, Indiana

Jason Wilber is an American singer and recording artist. He is also known as the lead guitar player for singer-songwriters like John Prine, Iris Dement, Greg Brown, and many others. Jason Wilber’s work with John Prine includes the Grammy Award winning CD Fair & Square. In addition to playing guitar on John Prine’s 2017 album For Better or Worse, Jason also served as a Co-Executive Producer. ... more

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